This does not mean one should disregard the feelings and needs of others completely; it means one should examine how the perspective of accommodating others is supporting or hindering us in life. Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines accommodating as, “willing to please: helpful, obliging.” The list of related words includes “over-indulgent” and “permissive”.
Accommodating can be positive, and even honorable when done in proper measure.
How can we help our clients shift from being over-accommodating to being assertive?
Walking with your client through four steps will support the client in making the needed changes to his or her beliefs and behaviors.
The person may lose touch with what is important to him; he may jeopardize his own happiness and may often wake up feeling at a loss for purpose leaving his days unfulfilled and flat.
Some signs that one might be over-accommodating include: To know what you prefer, instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to have kept your soul alive.
Assertive behavior balances the courage to speak one’s mind with consideration for other’s feelings and perspectives.
Looking at these beliefs together with his coach provides the opportunity for the client to dispel myths and to proactively eliminate beliefs that are no longer serving him.
After exploring beliefs and consciously making the decision to live differently, the client is ready to shift his perspective.
When was the last time you told a friend, boss or family member, “no” simply because. If you find yourself feeling this way often, you might want to look at your perspective.
Putting the needs, wants and desires of others before your own at the expense of your emotional and physical health might be preventing you from living the life you desire.Assertive behavior is one where boundaries are clearly set in a way that honors self and others.