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But as frustrating as it can feel to watch the people around you get hitched and have babies while you’re spending your Friday nights going on a string of lackluster dates, there are a lot of benefits to dating in your 30s.There’s just something about your third decade that makes you feel way more grounded and secure in who you are.Your 30s is the perfect time to branch out from your typical “type” and date new people. “I’ve encouraged dating coaching clients of mine to date outside of their comfort zone, initially with resistance,” Spira says.“It’s often a wonderful surprise when they actually enjoyed dating a different type than the ‘bad boys’ from earlier days.” That’s exactly why Virginia puts such a strong focus on inner traits instead of what looks good on paper.You might want to settle down, maybe even get married and start a family.But even if a longterm monogamous relationship isn’t your endgame, you’re likely sick of the wishy-washiness and tomfoolery you once let slide.Having your intentions right there for everyone to see will prompt someone who’s just looking to have fun to swipe left and encourage someone who’s on the same page as you are to swipe right.Virginia totally agrees with being clear about your intentions, but she suggests having that conversation on the first date instead. “You don’t want to sit down with someone on a first date or your first encounter and make them feel like they’re in an interview or a screening process.” Instead, be curious and ask questions in an authentic and genuine way that will help you get a feel for what their goals are.
That’s when you step into a new way of being and dating becomes way easier.There is no magical place with other single people.The beauty is that they’re doing the same things you are.” Above all else, listening to your intuition is so key when it comes to dating in your 30s.There is a temptation to create or communicate a [version of] you that, like an Instagram post, will garner the most likes.
Do not contort yourself to fit what you presume others desire. Use Tinder to communicate what you actually desire, so you can find someone you truly like.”“We know it sounds counterintuitive, but you read this right.
Plus, you have lots of wisdom and life experience under your belt, which means you know exactly what you want and don’t want in life and in a partner.