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Remember that you can love them both without them necessarily having to enjoy each other.
This goes for friends and partners who haven't dated, too, now that I think of it. Don't ask your man if you're prettier/smarter/better at Scrabble than his last girlfriend.
Talking about the good times can build your intimacy with one another and strengthen your relationship. If you are frustrated with your ex, tell him or her that you are frustrated and what it is that is frustrating you. You can’t assume that he or she knows what you are thinking or how you are feeling.
Communication contributes to a strong and healthy relationship. If he or she cheated on you, you cannot assume the same thing is happening again You have to be able to start the relationship over with a brand-new level of trust.
In fact, when we met, my now-partner was on a date with my best friend.
The reverse is also true; no matter how much you love discussing your dude with your besties, his ex can probably live without hearing the details of his current sex life. It's OK to come to your partner for advice if you're arguing with your friend, or vice versa, but absolutely resist the urge to belittle or insult one of them to the other.
We know our backstories will be tangled and intertwined.