Stop dating wrong
In a sense, you seek comfort in that familiar scenario – even if it is one filled with angst.
If you’re single, you’ve probably gone through hell in the dating world.
I admit, I was attracted and craving a connection with a man who was unavailable. And this, is the decision that starts to break the unhealthy cycle. The moment you accept less than your worth, you will get less.
The moment you tolerate disrespect and disregard, you set precedent. Larry Young, the director for Translational Social Neuroscience, notes that experiencing a loss from a partner – such as a separation or death, is akin to an addict craving drugs.
As a result, they have a lot of love (sunk costs) for their date or mate. Are you giving without expectation of receiving anything back in return? Or, is there a part of your giving that is rooted in the hopes you will get love and acknowledgement in return?
If there isn’t a foundation of love, respect and commitment with the person you’re dating, giving more and doing nice things will not cause them to love you more, it’ll only result in you becoming increasingly attached.The problem is, the longer you continue the cycle, the more your sense of self-worth erodes, making it harder and harder to remove yourself from the pleasure/pain pattern of unhealthy, inaccessible relationships.